An Adventurer's Dream

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on November 2, 2013

It takes time to move past something that scares you. It takes practice and hard work and determination. It’s not something that you can “just get over.”

I’m sorry for the rant, but I just saw a picture on tumblr that said “Fear, it’s just a feeling and you can get over it.” No, you can’t just get over it. Just as it’s hard to get over someone you use to love or a friend that you no longer know or the death of someone close to you. It’s hard to let a feeling just fly away from you, drifting on the wind to a new destination. Maybe I’m overreacting, but fears are probably even harder to get rid of than feelings. They are ingrained into your very being.

I’m constantly afraid that I’m not good enough. I have been for years and years. I’ve also been afraid of other things that I don’t want to mention, but they are all things that have haunted me. They weren’t things I could just be like “Oh, I need to get over this” and then I got better. It took time and restraint and a lot of self-pep talks to make me feel better. And I’m still working on it.

I used to be seriously afraid of dogs when I was younger. I kind of clawed my mom up trying to get away from a chihuahua at some point. After meeting several dogs that were calm and nice, I grew better around them. Eventually, my family got three dogs in one summer. I was pretty much over my fear, though super hyper dogs tend to make me really nervous. The thing is, though, as with my other fears, it took time. It took strength. Maybe sometimes things are easy to be unafraid of in one go, such as when I went on a plane for HOSA after my graduation in 2010. I had been super afraid before, but the plane ride was actually extremely fun. Still, I had to talk myself into getting onto the plane and trusting the pilots and everyone on board. It was easy to put that fear aside, but, again, it wasn’t something that I could “just get over.” That makes it sound too easy, and like you aren’t even trying to fight the fear. And it’s kind of rude to tell someone to do.

Instead, show support to those who have fears. It’s hard to be unafraid. Courage is something that has to be built up, and friends are the columns that help support it. Encourage the people you know to fight their fears and let them know that you will be there every step along the way to give them whatever help they need (unless it’s beating someone up or killing them or stealing something, that’s kind of illegal).

Please, don’t ever tell someone to “just get over it.” It may be a feeling, but it is important for some reason to that person and it needs to be taken care of with seriousness.

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