An Adventurer's Dream

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The Dreaded 18th

on October 18, 2014

The eighteenth is a day of very bad luck for my family:

  • December 18th, 2013 – My Great Grandma’s funeral.
  • March 18th, 2014 – My precious baby Aerrow was put down.
  • September 18th, 2014 – Exactly six months after, our Beau Beau Bear was put down.

Right now, it’s been exactly a month since my family had to put Beau down. He had seizures for over fourteen hours from the night before and it was absolutely horrifying. I woke up on the 18th with a call from my mom saying that the inevitable had to occur – he had to be put down.

It’s a little hard thinking about it right now. I’ve lost two of my dogs in the same year – one before he had a chance to turn 7, the other a few months after he turned seven. We have one more dog left, my baby Pepper, but I miss the others. It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you have given all of your heart to.

Great Grandma was the first official lost that I’ve ever felt really torn about. I’ve known of other people passing, but I didn’t know them or wasn’t yet cognitive of what death really was. I’m not really close with my extended family. Being in a military family, we always moved around and then eventually settled down far away enough that we were about an hour or more away from anyone else. However, Great Grandma was one of the family members that I’ve known the most, that I have memories with, that I love a whole lot.

I’m not writing this all to get pity. I just feel like I need to write it. I have a friend right now that is having a bad time with a family member that is ill and is not expected to have much longer. It hurts, because I cannot do anything for her. It hurts, because I know the pain of loss.

I guess I am writing this because of a whole bunch of emotions that are popping up. I miss my Beau. I miss my Aerrow. I miss my Great Grandma.

I use to joke about turning everyone I love into vampires so we could all live together forever, but sometimes I wish I actually could. I know death is a natural part of life, but that doesn’t remove the fact that it still hurts.

So, to all those who have lost someone near and dear to their heart, whether human or a furry friend, I am sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. And if you need someone to talk to, I am here. I will listen.

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