An Adventurer's Dream

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Time To Grow Up

And in growing up, I mean to mature a bit.

I realize that I am not the most mature person in the universe. I am very childish – I love cartoons, obsess over Hello Kitty, goof around, and rely on others to be the big person.

I’m not saying that the person I am is a bad one. I love who I am. I try to have fun in all situations (when it’s acceptable) and want to be kind to everyone that I meet. I’m loyal and try to be dependable, so I hope that others can rely on me a little.

In growing up, I think that I need to learn to be a little bit more patient with some people. To accept that I can do “grown-up” things and that I have the power to do whatever I want if I put my mind to it. To be more self conscious of how I act around my peers and those who I manage. To be more open and talkative about subjects that are sensitive.

These will be my goals. I know that I already have a list of summer goals (of which none are yet complete), but I want to work on growing as an individual at the same time.

Any tips on how I can reach these goals? How do you keep a mature demeanor in your daily life?

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Late Night Ramblings

It’s 12:31 AM and I have work in eight and a half hours. Somehow, I have the writing bug.

Life after college is going well. I had my third interview last Wednesday with Apple on my birthday and I’m hoping to hear back this week about the interviewing process. I am really excited about this position and I think I have built up so much excitement about it, that I will be very disappointed if I do not make it.

But optimism will prevail. I have had many amazing opportunities to grow my skills and love to learn whatever comes my way. This makes me an ideal candidate (or at least that’s what I am telling myself!).

The month of June is supposed to be a month for me to “begin again.” I want to improve myself and take better care of myself. This means no sugary items, no soda, more exercise, and more self-training in areas I want to be skilled in (such as learning Korean, playing violin, or writing).

I’ve failed so far and it’s only been three days. I’ll try to improve from here on out.

My first goal has been to take better care of my skin and teeth, which I started in May. That has been a success, though I wish to improve more. Working on my diet will help with this.

Which leads me to my second realm of improvement: eating habits. I have nasty habits of eating very little and when I do eat something, it is something super sugary. No more! I’m going to put a stopper to these habits and work on eating healthier. Meaning I might do a detox diet and then setting a strict meal plan (and maybe this will help me learn to cook good foods).

Aside from all of that, I have been working on filling out job applications. I haven’t heard back from anyone yet, but depending on what happens with Apple it could be a good thing (I really, really want the Apple job). Still, there is a lot out there and I’ve looked at many great positions that are open. Wherever I end up at will be a blessing and a joy to go to – I know my first true job after college will help me to learn a lot.

I’ll finish this post off before I turn myself into a zombie in the morning, trying to eat the brains of my coworkers. Do you have anything you’d like to share about your job search after college? Or about self-improvement and healthy diets? Sound off below! I’d love to hear what you have to say.

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There is so much going on in the world…

And I feel so terrible. I can’t do anything to help out. I have neither the funds nor the resources. 

People are starving. What is going on in Venezuela right now is pretty grim. There is water scarcity in parts of the world, and extinctions of animals, and major deforestation. 

I want to make a chance. I want to do things to help fix the world and make things good. I know I can’t fix it completely, but I want to be someone that helps it along the path to goodness. And I know I can do it. It’ll take time, but I’ll get there. 

What are your thoughts on the subject? 

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Moment of Realization

I was looking in the mirror this afternoon, comparing myself to a few years ago. I’ve definitely changed, become a bit more mature. My face still has a baby look to it, but I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I like – no, love – my own body and everything about it. If I met my younger self, I think she would like who she’s become.

And that’s when it hit me. My younger self, say 10-year-old Brittany, would love who I am today. Do you know how much of a relief that is? To think that I can actually be proud of who I am?

I spend a lot of time worrying about… well, everything. If it exists in my life, I worry about it. I even worry about things that aren’t present in my life. I overwork myself, trying to do my best and always feeling that I don’t achieve anything even near my goal. I realize that I’m not perfect and I hate that. I’m a perfectionist. I want to be better, to be successful in everything. I see the blemishes on my face and I think that I’m not pretty. I see the little pudge in my stomach and I think, my body’s imperfect (I’m thin and I don’t think anything about body weight because every body is beautiful, but I bloat and someone once asked me if I was pregnant in high school and so I’m a little insecure about my bloated stomach).

Geez. The list goes on. I won’t bore you with all the irrational thoughts that fill my head. But goodness, who here doesn’t have those thoughts?

Back to the point. 10-year-old Brittany didn’t really have any expectations for her future. At least, none that I can remember. Well, she wanted to be a pediatrician and go to college, but there were no exact plans. I wanted to get a boyfriend eventually, but I’m still working on that. Honestly, I don’t think she’d be upset that I don’t have one yet. She’d love who I am, and I’m not saying that to be full of myself or make myself feel good.

I’m in college. That was one of the things that was for sure going to be in my future. I was going to get an education. And I’m doing well in school, maintaining my grades and making connections. I’ve been an assistant manager. I have, literally, four jobs right now – even if two of them are just every now and then. I’ve been to Japan. Even if it was for a week, man, how awesome is that? I’m fashionable – I love clothes, make-up, and hats… and I’m starting to learn to do my hair. I went through a phase where I didn’t care about all of that and life isn’t about caring about material things… but I enjoy fashion and that’s something I’m proud of. I consider myself to be pretty, even if I’m not that great. Even if I don’t love who I am all the time, I still love myself. I have wonderful friends, people that I couldn’t live without. And geez, maybe this list would go on if I keep looking at my life from this standpoint.

It’s so easy to get caught up in stress and school and worrying that I start to think negatively about everything. But taking a step back, I realize I’m comparing my life to others around me. Each person has their own wonderful story and their own fantastical path. Even though mine doesn’t match up to the girl who an RA and graduated early or the boy that won an award or the person that found true love, my own story is unique and awesome. My 10-year-old self isn’t going to compare who I am now to other people. She’s going to compare herself to me, the 21-year-old Brittany that has gotten a bit silly but still has a heart that cares for everyone.

So, what about you? What would your 10-year-old self think of how he or she has become? When you look back twenty years from now, will you believe you made the right choices with your life? Sometimes it just takes looking at yourself from a different perspective to realize just how fantastic you really are.

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My Korean Obsession

Last year, a friend of mine introduced me to the world of kpop and Korean dramas and just the beauty of Korea. Now I can’t say that I have a full-fledged obsession, but it did help to grow my love of Asian culture.

I’m mostly into kpop and have a few groups that I completely adore: Girls Generation, EXO, SHINee, Block B… The style of music is really different from what I listen to everyday in the United States and it has a really great feel to it. I actually have a playlist on YouTube that I listen to when I’m doing music or when I just want to enjoy some kpop (you can listen to it here if you want). It doesn’t matter that the language isn’t the same and I don’t understand the words. I understand the music and that’s what is important. That’s what music is all about, pulling a chord in someone’s heart no matter where they are from.

Korean dramas also prove to be very entertaining… and quite a bit emotional. My first dip into the pool of kdrams was “You’re Beautiful”, which is really cute and funny and wonderful. It’s about a girl who pretends to be an idol for her twin brother and goes through all of these adventures while trying to keep her gender a secret from her new bandmates.

The second drama I watched was called “The Master’s Sun.” I was so emotionally drained after that show, but it was most definitely my favorite – even over American shows that I have seen. The main character is a girl who sees ghosts. She somehow meets this big CEO who is cold to her, but it ends up that ghosts go away whenever she touches him. In an effort to get close to him and get rid of the ghosts, she works at the company he owns and a great adventure happens for the both of them. I actually highly recommend this show.

So, yes, I’m highly in love with the Korean world right now. I want to eventually visit the country and I’m going to try to teach myself some of the language this year (well, that and Japanese). Global awareness is a major factor of the education at my university, but it’s not something that they needed to push on me. I’ve always been global aware and yearned to explore the world. It’ll take time (and quite a bit of money), but I’m sure I’ll get there one day.

What about you, fellow bloggers? Any dreams of learning another language or becoming surrounded by a different culture? Do you have any favorite kpop groups?

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Fear

It takes time to move past something that scares you. It takes practice and hard work and determination. It’s not something that you can “just get over.”

I’m sorry for the rant, but I just saw a picture on tumblr that said “Fear, it’s just a feeling and you can get over it.” No, you can’t just get over it. Just as it’s hard to get over someone you use to love or a friend that you no longer know or the death of someone close to you. It’s hard to let a feeling just fly away from you, drifting on the wind to a new destination. Maybe I’m overreacting, but fears are probably even harder to get rid of than feelings. They are ingrained into your very being.

I’m constantly afraid that I’m not good enough. I have been for years and years. I’ve also been afraid of other things that I don’t want to mention, but they are all things that have haunted me. They weren’t things I could just be like “Oh, I need to get over this” and then I got better. It took time and restraint and a lot of self-pep talks to make me feel better. And I’m still working on it.

I used to be seriously afraid of dogs when I was younger. I kind of clawed my mom up trying to get away from a chihuahua at some point. After meeting several dogs that were calm and nice, I grew better around them. Eventually, my family got three dogs in one summer. I was pretty much over my fear, though super hyper dogs tend to make me really nervous. The thing is, though, as with my other fears, it took time. It took strength. Maybe sometimes things are easy to be unafraid of in one go, such as when I went on a plane for HOSA after my graduation in 2010. I had been super afraid before, but the plane ride was actually extremely fun. Still, I had to talk myself into getting onto the plane and trusting the pilots and everyone on board. It was easy to put that fear aside, but, again, it wasn’t something that I could “just get over.” That makes it sound too easy, and like you aren’t even trying to fight the fear. And it’s kind of rude to tell someone to do.

Instead, show support to those who have fears. It’s hard to be unafraid. Courage is something that has to be built up, and friends are the columns that help support it. Encourage the people you know to fight their fears and let them know that you will be there every step along the way to give them whatever help they need (unless it’s beating someone up or killing them or stealing something, that’s kind of illegal).

Please, don’t ever tell someone to “just get over it.” It may be a feeling, but it is important for some reason to that person and it needs to be taken care of with seriousness.

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Zilker Park Botanical Gardens

Austin Botanical Gardens.

I wasn’t expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised by my visit to the botanical gardens this past Sunday. It was really beautiful there, though I’m sure it’ll be extremely wonderful in the spring when all of the plants and flowers are in full bloom.

There’s an entire portion of the garden that is dedicated to a Japanese theme. Imagine my excitement when I found an inscription talking about Austin’s connection and friendship with Oita City in Japan. Anybody remember the trip I took back in March with my class? Yeah, we visited Oita during that time (and got to see an awesome Nissan factory and watch cars get put together!). I literally screamed “Oita” when I saw this, much to my parents’ amusement.

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Then there was this awesome path called the “Walk of Friends.” I didn’t have any of my friends with me (I met my parents who were visiting), but hopefully next time I’ll be able to take a picture with some of my friends in front of it!

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Plus there was this fantastic waterfall? Gorgeous, right?

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Oh, no! A dinosaur! Don’t eat me! Thank goodness he’s not looking this way.

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Overall, great trip. I fully recommend visiting if you ever get the chance.

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School’s Back…. And so am I!

Ah, school. While some may not enjoy those fresh, new (text)books and the chatter of students around them, I find returning to school an absolute joy. I know, I know – I’m a little strange. But for some reason I’ve always adored going to school. I mean, my child self wouldn’t stay home sick even though my mother wanted me to, but would go home when my teacher said to. A little strange, right?

It’s still a shame that the summer has ended, though not a big deal for me. I didn’t really get much of a break this year (not that I have had a real summer in a while). Between work and my two online courses, I kept pretty busy. Don’t worry, I did manage to hang out with friends and laze about in my room scrolling through tumblr for hours… but that doesn’t really account for a super adventure in an alternate universe or even across the country!

This year is definitely going to be interesting at school, though. I’m finally a senior (in the wise words of London Tipton “Yay, me!”) and I’ll be doing a lot in preparation for my entry into the real world. I have Capstone this semester (I’ll be dying under mountains of research toward the end of this semester), an internship to take in the spring (I’m excited for this one!), and a whole load of classes to teach me the skills and knowledge I’ll hopefully need in the real world. I am working this semester – as a student worker in HR on campus and as a personal assistant to a really awesome person in town. With all of this stuff going on, it looks like my planner will once again be the love of my life this year. Sorry, boys.

Good luck to everyone with the new school year and also good luck to everyone who is out of school. You all deserve a great year, no matter where you are. Keep reaching for your dreams, try your best at everything you do, and enjoy life.

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“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

I honestly have no idea who that quote is by, but I probably should. That quote is my whole life. Honestly, it’s so easy to sit around and just say, fate will bring my destiny to me. I don’t have to do anything. That’s such a lie. You have to do things. If you just sit around, you won’t ever become the best you that you can possibly be. In fact, if you sit around waiting to be found, you’re sort of like a couch potato. Nobody wants to be a potato for life… or at least I hope they don’t.

So, how do you create yourself? Reach for every opportunity that comes your way. That job you want to apply for? Do it. The worst that can happen is that you don’t get the job. I mean, you wouldn’t have gotten it if hadn’t applied anyways. That boy you want to go out with? Don’t wait for him to say something. Make your way up the ladder that is your life, finding the most amazing chances that you can. You can be something amazing, but you have to put a little bit of effort into it.

It’s so easy to be bitten by the bug of self-doubt. I’ve been bitten by it plenty of times; in fact, I probably spend most of my time doubting myself. I’m not good enough. I can’t do this well. They don’t need my help; I’m sure they want someone who would actually do this correctly. I’ll just mess it up. Do I let that stop me? NO. Yeah, I’ll get bothered by it and spend the whole time worrying. But I’m going to do my best and try to be something. 

Keep your goals in mind. Don’t just reach for the stars. Maneuver through the gaps between them and reach for something much, much bigger. The whole universe is out there. Go make it yours.

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Print Versus Electronic

Technology has boosted education into the limelight. There are so many ways to learn different things – online courses, videos on varying websites (but especially YouTube), video games, etc. Soon enough we’ll be learning from hologram teachers and having textbooks downloaded straight into our minds. But we’re not at that stage yet and we still have to adapt to online textbooks.

As a booklover, I’ve always held a prejudice against electronic books. You can’t feel the pages in your hands, breathe in the stories from the paper, or carry it around with you to show off to the world. Sure, you can carry it around on your Nook or Kindle, but it’s not the same at all. What happens if the entire Internet goes down or the home system is messed with by a virus? It’s gone then. While these thoughts don’t apply so much for textbooks, I still think that the paper version is much better. It’s easier to flip through pages and mark important pieces of information. Using the electronic version entails pressing buttons and waiting for the page to load up. Flipping through the pages of a physical textbook is just that – flipping through the pages.

I’ve had several classes where my textbook has an online version. Sure, it’s okay when I know exactly what page and what information I need to look at, but I still find myself consulting the printed text when I need to do hardcore searching for information. It’s easier.

Maybe I’m biased, but I think I have the right mindset. Don’t get me wrong, technology is great. I absolutely love it. But there are just some things that the electronic version of life can’t replace and I’m dead set on the idea that books in paper should remain that way. Sorry, trees.

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