An Adventurer's Dream

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The Dreaded 18th

The eighteenth is a day of very bad luck for my family:

  • December 18th, 2013 – My Great Grandma’s funeral.
  • March 18th, 2014 – My precious baby Aerrow was put down.
  • September 18th, 2014 – Exactly six months after, our Beau Beau Bear was put down.

Right now, it’s been exactly a month since my family had to put Beau down. He had seizures for over fourteen hours from the night before and it was absolutely horrifying. I woke up on the 18th with a call from my mom saying that the inevitable had to occur – he had to be put down.

It’s a little hard thinking about it right now. I’ve lost two of my dogs in the same year – one before he had a chance to turn 7, the other a few months after he turned seven. We have one more dog left, my baby Pepper, but I miss the others. It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you have given all of your heart to.

Great Grandma was the first official lost that I’ve ever felt really torn about. I’ve known of other people passing, but I didn’t know them or wasn’t yet cognitive of what death really was. I’m not really close with my extended family. Being in a military family, we always moved around and then eventually settled down far away enough that we were about an hour or more away from anyone else. However, Great Grandma was one of the family members that I’ve known the most, that I have memories with, that I love a whole lot.

I’m not writing this all to get pity. I just feel like I need to write it. I have a friend right now that is having a bad time with a family member that is ill and is not expected to have much longer. It hurts, because I cannot do anything for her. It hurts, because I know the pain of loss.

I guess I am writing this because of a whole bunch of emotions that are popping up. I miss my Beau. I miss my Aerrow. I miss my Great Grandma.

I use to joke about turning everyone I love into vampires so we could all live together forever, but sometimes I wish I actually could. I know death is a natural part of life, but that doesn’t remove the fact that it still hurts.

So, to all those who have lost someone near and dear to their heart, whether human or a furry friend, I am sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. And if you need someone to talk to, I am here. I will listen.

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There is so much going on in the world…

And I feel so terrible. I can’t do anything to help out. I have neither the funds nor the resources. 

People are starving. What is going on in Venezuela right now is pretty grim. There is water scarcity in parts of the world, and extinctions of animals, and major deforestation. 

I want to make a chance. I want to do things to help fix the world and make things good. I know I can’t fix it completely, but I want to be someone that helps it along the path to goodness. And I know I can do it. It’ll take time, but I’ll get there. 

What are your thoughts on the subject? 

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Fishie Sadness

My roommate, our friend, and I went to PetCo today because my roomie really wanted a fish. Well, the end result at PetCo ended up being two Betta fish with a container that has a divider. It specifically shows that two male Bettas can live in it. Though, our fish are babies and we couldn’t tell if they were guys or gals.

Anyway, we set it up when we get back. It took about thirty minutes to set up and then we left for three hours.

Guess what we come back to?

One fish is dead.


The other was dying.

We knew it was inevitable. The other was going to die soon. So, we went on a round around the dormitory with our RA (resident assistant). When we came back, the other was dead.

No more fishies.

PetCo has a 30-day return policy, though. So tomorrow we are going back and my roommate is going to get her money back. Then we are going elsewhere and going to get an adult Betta that won’t die.

The moral of the story? Keep a close eye on your fishies. Love them. And to all the Betta fish owners out there, you are awesome. To all pet owners, go you! Keep it up. 🙂

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